Kenpachi gets slapped
by orangetornado
Summary: It's in the title. (one shot)


Kenpachi sat at his desk frowned as he thought to himself _Unohana sure is acting weird lately_.

"What's the matter, captain?" Yumichika asked while Ikkakus head was being chewed on (by Yachiru).

Kenpachi shrugged. "Nothing much. It's just captain Unohana, she's been all different all of a sudden."

"Hmm, different how?" Yumichika asked.

Kenpachi thought for a moment. "Let's see, she gives me these awkward smiles every time we pass each other. She keeps making conversation with me at the randomest moments. She giggles at everything I say..."

Yumichika rolled his eyes at how oblivious his captain could be. "Oh dear, it's so obvious, captain Unohana has feelings for you."

Kenpachis eyes widened and he stood up from his seat. "Just what the heck are you yappin about? She would never like me! I mean have you seen her? She's way too-" he quickly stopped himself from saying beautiful and delicate like he was thinking and instead said "civilized."

Yumichika sighed. "Well, we'll just see then, but you better be nice to her."

"Tch, whatever." _The fool doesn't know what he's talking about. He's all fruity anyway, I gotta get him away from them romance novels. Me and Unohana? Please, she probably thinks I'm too much of a crazed fighter. _Kenpachi thought. He suddenly became rather saddened. He never realized how much it meant to him what Unohana thought of him.

Finally, the captains meeting was finally over and the captains had left the building. Kenpachi was usually bored at these meetings but this time, he kept catching Unohana looking at him. He would glance in her direction and notice her looking and she would quickly look away. He thought back to what Yumichika was saying earlier. _Maybe she really does like me- what am I saying!_

Unohana noticed Kenpachi just standing there. "Captain Zaraki!" she called excitedly. Kenpachi frowned as he watched her walk over to him with a bit of a bounce in her step. "Funny you're still here, you're usually the first to leave."

"Yeah, well I was just leaving." He was about to take off when Unohana grabbed his wrist. "What the-"

"Captain Zaraki, um, if you have any spare time, would you like to accompany me to dinner tonight?" she asked nervously, blushing a little.

_Where in the world did that come from? _Kenpachi thought. "No, I'm... busy." He replied coldly.

A wave of disappointment flooded through Unohana at that moment. Her shoulders slumped and her smile wavered just slightly. She lowered her gaze to the ground. "Oh, well that's alright. I'll see you around, captain Zaraki."

"Yeah, sure."

Unohana then took in a deep breath, stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Kenpachis waist in a soft hug and buried her head in his chest. Kenpachi stood frozen in shock. She was HUGGING him!

In a state of panic, he shoved her arms off him. She gasped. They both stood there in silence for a second just looking at each other. Then Kenpachi flash stepped away.

SLAP!

Kenpachi held a hand to the cheek Yumichika just slapped, hard. "You wanna die, fruit bag!"

"Are you kidding me, captain?" Yumichika yelled, furious. "How could you be so ungraceful with her? Captain Unohana deserves to be treated as beautiful as she is!"

"She just hugs me out of the blue! What did you expect me to do?" Kenpachi was getting aggravated now.

Yumichika slammed his hands down on the desk and said in a stern voice, "You are gonna go over to the fourth division and apologise to captain Unohana RIGHT NOW!"

"Alright, alright, I'm going!" Kenpachi was honestly taken aback by Yumichikas sudden boldness. _Kid's got guts_ he thought.

Unohana stood in her office in front of her desk arranging files. Tears were beginning to form in her eyes but she blinked quickly to stop them from falling. _Well Retsu, just accept that he just doesn't like you like that. _She thought to herself. _But... it's so hard not to love him..._

She suddenly felt large arms encircle around her from behind. She gasped as Kenpachi pulled her tightly against his body. He grinned. "I hope your offer of that dinner still stands, Retsu." He said into her ear, making her shiver.

"Captain Zaraki..." she whispered. He leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek but before he could, she spun around and slapped him.

He pressed a hand to the cheek she just slapped. "What the heck?"

"You reject me earlier on and now you expect me to forgive you so easily?" Unohana stated calmly, which was creepy.

Kenpachi scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, about that, I actually came to apologise. It's not often that a woman, uh, shows me affection so I kinda panicked. I'm... sorry. And I really would like to have dinner with you."

Unohana smiled and lightly blushed at these words. "Thank you, captain Zaraki."

"Retsu, please," Kenpachi took Retsu by the waist and pulled her closer. "Call me Kenpachi."

Retsu smiled and rapped her arms around his neck and stood on her tip toes as Kenpachi leaned down so their lips were touching. "Kenpachi." She said against his lips as they engaged in a heated, passionate kiss. Retsu moaned as Kenpachis tongue explored her lips and inside her mouth.

"OH MY GOSH, KENNY!" Yachiru yelled, standing by the door.

Kenpachi and Retsu broke apart abruptly. "Uh..." Kenpachi started. He didn't exactly know how to explain this. Right now Kenpachis hand was on Retsus thigh and Retsu had her hands under his robes on his bare chest. Kenpachis hair was messed up and Retsu had a deep blush. "What are you doing here, Yachiru?"

"Are you attacking braid lady? Bad Kenny!" Yachiru ran up to Kenpachi and slapped him.

"Aw, come on!" Kenpachi groaned. _Why do people keep slapping me today?_

Retsu giggled. "Kenpachi wasn't attacking me, Yachiru, he was just being friendly and he will be accompanying me to dinner tonight."

Yachiru jumped up and down. "Ooh, goody, can I come?"

"Well, it's kind of a two people, romantic thing." Unohana tried to explain.

"What do you mean?"

"A date."

"What's that?"

Kenpachi sighed. "You go find Yumichika and he'll tell ya."

"Okay!" she sang and ran off.

Kenpachi smiled and brought Retsu into a hug, kissing her neck. She sighed happily and giggled. "That tickles."

He smirked and started undoing her braid. Bringing his lips to her ear, he whispered, "I'm starting to feel like we should skip dinner."

She snaked her fingers into his hair and brought his face closer to hers. When their lips almost met she suddenly stopped making Kenpachi inwardly groan. "I don't think so, we're going to have dinner. Let's go." And she pulled away and walked out the door.

_Maybe later _he thought.


End file.
